introduction

this is the first post that i've written since february 15 2007. Before this new blog, i had lost my motivation to write. I did not find any meaning or relief when i wrote as everytime i felt like writing, i only ended up feeling depressed, in a state of anguish, much worser than before. All i could write or even think about in moments when i was alone and had slowed down from the hectic pace of work, was just the frustration at the many things about me - job, spiritual state with God, marriage, giftings etc.
so rather than rambling and ranting about the same things all the time, i stopped writing. But i can't really promise you that there will be moments in this blog's shelf life where i will rant and rave about the same things continually but this time...

i feel will be much different. i think i've changed through the course of the year. and i think i'm moving on and being made to journey and progress into a different season and phase. perhaps you can be the better judge of this and see if it's really true, and let me know. i believe i'm even more ready to learn and hear from others now. I hope that in the next few posts to come, i'll be capturing what this change is and how i am living through it and being transformed by it.

and hope that you'll find this journey fascinating too. by the way, i'm really rusty at writing blog entries so do bear with the awkward expressions from time to time. and i hope it will be worth your while to put up with the clumsy phrasings.

so the title of this blog has changed and it is my favourite phrase of wordsworth who is now my all time rave and delight. that's just one of the things that has changed about me. then, i loved to read dylan thomas, neruda, pound, sometimes bukowski and milton, donne, murakami, endo. but now, i find myself enjoying more of wordsworth and even john clare. during the last few months, i have lived only on these poets, the bible, some world history and children's tales like "heidi" and "the railway children".

anyway, back to the title of the blog. i believe that i've ever mentioned this phrase before in my previous entries so you might find it familiar but why i've chosen it for this blog is because it is always a reminder to me in whatever i'm doing, wherever i go. no matter how long, ardous, bleak and meaningless the road maybe today and tomorrow, it always leads to this moment where the sun shines through the morning mists and the fields of green fills one's heart with comfort - comfort in the things that matter at the end of the day. That if we just hold onto what we have been called to do, to the faithful image of the One who foreknew and ordained our days, our hope will be innervated with His strength to see us through the hours. we can always return or create the hour of feeling when we see things through His eyes. and what these feelings are, is something as simple as having your favourite cup of coffee; resting on your bed floating between the moments of consciousness and sleep. it is just being with Him even though we cannot see Him, hear Him, feel Him and perceive Him. it is just the hour when everything that really matters is crystal clear and.. so much more.

there you go. well, i'm only half done describing it. i'll leave the rest to another post, another day.